This the monkey.

Here he is. This is the monkey that spent months rolling about inside his mummy's tummy. This is the little chimp who took 36 hours to appear. It is totally unreal having your own child, especially when you still feel like one yourself.

So, it appears, this blue/grey squashed bundle. It was a shock because he seemed massive and looked like a cross between one of those silver gorillas and a packet of sausages. What was also a shock was how all your expectations and plans vanish and your thoughts reboot ready for freaking out!

I thought I was going to be super dad and sure enough, when he was shiny and new I was the king of nappies, gallantly stepping up while my wife recovered from her ordeal. But in reality, when it came to the constant slog of waking and comforting and feeding...I was rubbish. I had really strong feelings of panic and unease and imagined how it would be best for all of us if I just ran away. Perhaps to Las Vegas or home to the outback of Oz.

Anyway, 9 months down the line it occurred to me that I was missing out. So from now on I really am going to be a superduper dad. This is what this blog is for. To document my ups and downs as my wife and I begin job sharing - week on, week off. Laugh at me all you like...laugh as I struggle to put on Max's jacket, laugh as he rolls over and crawls away while I try to clean his backside, and laugh as I dance under a mini maypole in front of experienced mums at Friday's Rhythm Time.